MAYDAY! MAYDAY! MAYDAY! This is TIA – TANGO – INDIA - ALFA… MAYDAY! South Africa, country code ZULU – ALFA… Location - southern tip of Africa. There’s something seriously wrong here. It’s Wednesday 07h30, a normal weekday, but the streets are empty; the trains are empty; no busses or taxis on the road and no people queuing for transport… Did the rapture occur? MAYDAY! MAYDAY!
Oops sorry… It’s International Workers’ Day… Cancel mayday call… Ignore! Disregard!
There was this blind man on an airplane and while he was up in the air, the pilot died. This man felt the plane rocking more than normal so he went up to the cock-pit and asked what was wrong and got no answer. He reached down and felt the pilot's pulse, and then moved him to the floor and got on the radio and yelled, "Mayday, mayday, I'm a blind man, my pilot is dead, I can't fly and the plane is upside down."
Someone answers and says, "Okay sir, now you said you were blind. How can you tell that the pilot is dead and that you're flying upside down?"
The blind man said, "Well I felt for his pulse and he had none. And the way I can tell that the plane is flying upside down is I can feel the crap running down my neck!" [Source]