Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Predictions for 2009

I’m no prophet, but the Law of Probability and plain common sense tells me that the year 2009 in South Africa is going to be a turbulent and thrilling experience for some, and a scary uncertain ride for others, depending on what side of the fence you happen to be looking from.

The ongoing debate on crime and violence has become somewhat of a dreary subject. Although I’ll briefly scan media reports on this issue with the sole purpose of keeping up-to-date on the latest areas that are targeted, criminal tactics, motives, etc…, I’d rather focus on ways to protect myself and my family, and not allow the fear of horrifying crime reports to overshadow my life. But yes, --- 2009 will no doubt bring some gruesome scenes into our living rooms while the ongoing, and utterly boring, squabble between the African National Congress (ANC) and the Congress of the People (COPE) persist. There’s no doubt in my mind, that before the end of April 2009, we will see many pictures in vivid colour, some clouded with teargas and others with the smoke of burnt out busses and shacks, as police combat black-on-black riots and angry outbursts at polling stations across the country.

There will be a renewed effort by the government and the church to calm the masses using every tool at their disposal, --- but while families fall apart and churches squabble about religious views, illegal drugs will continue to flow through the veins of our children, and their playing fields will be replaced by the ever increasing tide of new horrifying digital war games and crap music created by the mindless addicts and morons living in the US-of-A.

On a more positive note, I predict that the present reduction in the price of fuel will continue its downward trend and will also have a positive effect on our interest rates. Economists will continue to talk gibberish and confuse the minds of simple people like me, and there will also be absolutely no logical explanation why food prices will soar, despite the drop in fuel price.

South Africa will experience a flood of foreigners, on a far larger scale than the gold rush in 1886. According to the September 2008 data collected by the Department of Home Affairs (DHA), foreigners from Lesotho, Mozambique, Zimbabwe, Swaziland, Botswana, Namibia, Malawi and Zambia, made up 96,8% of all foreign arrivals from Africa. Although, the number of foreigners from Africa is expected to increase dramatically, the number of visitors from other countries outside Africa will also increase in the immediate run-up to the 2010 World Cup and beyond. Although the high crime rate and threat of terrorist attacks will remain an issue, the massive recruitment drive in the police service (from 55,000 in 2004 to 200,000 members by 2010 – Source), coupled with the millions of rands spent on security and equipment such as helicopters, body armour and high-tech bomb disabling equipment, should play a part in safeguarding the general public.

And what do I foresee for Africa? Well, considering the fact that Mr Moeg-Gabe struck a deal in 2005 with China whereby he handed over his country's mineral rights, including the world's second largest reserves of platinum, worth £250 billion - (Source) --- and the fact that China is doing exactly the same all over the African continent, --- I simply see millions of little Chinese folk running about Africa, wheeling-and-dealing with African Chiefs – complaining about the lazy natives, -- and in the process getting the US-of-A and the British all hot under the collar, --- who in their, turn will whine about issues such human-rights, slavery, illegal guns, illegal drugs, and so forth … In fact anything and everything, except the fact that that they also want a large portion of the Chinese-African pie, hoping that a Kenyan born African American President will just do the trick!

Considering all, --- I’m quite sure we should survive 2009, with or without foreign intervention.

Have a Happy New Year!

Click Here for Predictions 2010

South Africa's best cartoonists have joined forces to bring you a pungent potpourri of the year's best political cartoons, covering all the catastrophes, conundrums, foibles and fantasies of a tumultuous twelve months (2009). It's all here - the astonishing ascent of Jacob Zuma, Mbeki's vanishing act, the Zuma showerhead and the rape of Justice, Malema's mouth, Zille's Botox, the global meltdown, the Obama miracle, the Gaza bombings, the Somali pirates, swine flu, Mugabe's madness, Madiba's 90th, the Dalai Lama's no-show, Eskom excuses, the SABC's collapse, Joost's embarrassment, Niehaus' humiliation, the last twitch of the Scorpions, the 2010 build-up, the Cope letdown. and much, much more.

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